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The Pretty Girl and Exhibit-X September 23, 2011

Posted by doinglaundryinheels in Dating, GoodGuys File, Men, Real World, Relationships, Women.
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The GoodGuys File

The objective of GoodGuys File is to give women a sense of realistic optimism. I feel like most dating advice out there is subjective and a lot of it…well, a lot of it is junk. When it comes down to it, men and women aren’t that different. We share the same emotions, same feelings, attractions, hates, loves, basic needs for food, water, shelter, why should dating suddenly be so different for both of us? I’ve spent the last year and a half offering my life experiences as a tool to learn how to NOT get the WRONG man, but most recently I’ve met a man that needs my help just as much as any woman ever might….Gentlemen, this GoodGuys File is for you!

Meet Exhibit-X. I’ve been observing Exhibit-X for about two years now, when we met I was genuinely surprised by his single-dom. Let me lay it out for you, Exhibit-X is HOT! He’s tall, very witty, smart, funny, loves animals, shows people pictures of his nieces and nephews, and has a good job and education. He’s an avid runner and enjoys comedy clubs, movies, concerts and going to the beach. You’d think this is a standard “on-paper awesome, off-paper not so much” guy, but in reality, he’s pretty awesome off-paper too. So what’s the issue? Exhibit-X has a problem with being too much of a man’s-man.

Let us tell you a story.
On a particular day in early winter, SK was all dolled up, new shoes, curled hair, new lipstick, champagne glass in hand, but despite how beautiful she looked and fun she felt, Exhibit-X’s comments whittled her, a strong woman, down to a homeless lady in a rainbow tutu and Jordan’s from 1996. She never expected this tall, classy, intelligent man to treat a woman like an uneducated, silly girl. Ding, we have a winner: The Jekyll and Hyde complex with a side of authority overload. Exhibit-X is a typical man with an ego. Gents, don’t take that as an insult; please remember that there are many manly elements of men that sub-consciously attract women. Yes, it’s true that many women like the “bad boy” or the “tough guy”, but there’s a difference between being tough and being a prick. It’s the same subtle difference between confidence and arrogance. Bad boys are bad because that’s how they were born; Pricks are pricks to cover up their own insecurities. Furthermore, outside of the general male ego, Exhibit-X has an authority complex. It’s almost like he needs to prove he’s the boss even if he’s not or even if it means embarrassing someone else. A perfectly attractive, decent, fun, smart man is sabotaging his own chances at love by being a complete **insert your favorite profanity here** ;)

Imagine you’re on your third date with Exhibit-X, you can’t get over how attractive and sensitive he is, your dog loves him and his taste in movies is awesome! Then you start telling him about your senior year of college, how hard it was those final few months. Instead of steady head nod and some reassuring “Well, you did it!” comment, you hear about how you should have done this instead of that, how difficult life is and if you had made the right choices back then you would be better off right now…because living on your own with your pooch and having a great job is not sufficient? Why would anyone go on a date with that guy again? Life is about balance. Women need a guy who isn’t afraid to yell back when they’re berating him for going out with his friends but will hold them tight when they think the world is against them. We don’t need a guy who will tell us all our decisions are wrong and if we had made smarter choices our lives would be better. We need a companion, not a parent. If we wanted someone to tell us we should have made better decisions we would have gone to Sunday dinner. So guys, be confident, don’t be some nasty alter ego and boys, bottom line…don’t be…a dick.

The first co-authored post to ever hit the DLIH screen is filled with contributions by SK’s dear friend and fellow realistic optimist Pascal. For more adventures with a slightly more “french” vernacular and a straight forward shot of honesty check out his very own rants at In and Out of Sanity. Be sure to look out for more guest appearance by Pascal and perhaps starring roles in the near DLIH future!

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