jump to navigation

“What If”….That’s Your New Best Friend? December 5, 2011

Posted by doinglaundryinheels in Around NYC, Friendships, Relationships.

The last time I met someone I was shaking my bonbon in my usual bar, for a nearly empty crowd of people in order to get my bar tab paid in full by some drunk man, who needed some amusement. No lie, that was the last time I said the words “its nice to meet you” and meant them…and it wasn’t to the drunk guy. I feel like we throw that phrase around a lot, obviously its proper protocol, complete with handshake and cheesy smile, but it’s in the same category as asking God to bless someone when they sneeze, we don’t actually mean what we’re saying. So, we walk around 2011 spewing our “nice-to-meet-yous” when really we aren’t meeting anyone at all.

If you sit and read a book that took place sometime before the 1980’s, I believe you’ll find the culture of relationships was different back then. Neighbors did actually borrow things like cups of sugar, carpools weren’t just the morning and afternoon shifts but the birthday party and the field trip gangs too. You could walk into a bar, have a conversation with a few folk and all go out to dinner and a movie the next weekend. Meeting people nowadays is just not that simple, are we ourselves to blame? Are we too zapped into our I-thingamajigers and compressed into our personal conversations to believe that anyone could commit to being our friend for more than .0573 seconds? How does “Excuse me, we’d like to get your opinion on our conversation, do you mind?” 20 minutes later still end in two total strangers, quietly, sitting next to each other at the bar. To some level, it’s unnatural but it’s happening…so rather than berating every last one of us for not trying hard enough…let’s deal with it.
I think meeting people is just like meeting “The One”, it’s going to happen when you’re not trying to make it happen. With that said, there is some level of effort involved, friends aren’t going to fall into your lap..and if they did, that’d be pretty creepy. The one thing I’ve found, that I can guarantee will work, is to join something…a dog walking service, volunteer for a non-profit on the weekends, join a running group or maybe a swim team at your local YMCA. Time will always be an issue, take it from the girl with a color coded calendar, but nowadays, meetin’ people at your local pub just doesn’t cut it. We’re disjointed and unfamiliar with “Hi, my name is” territory, there’s no app for getting to know someone, it’s organic. Why not ask some of your current friends to start inviting you to group outings, it doesn’t have to be fancy, it can be as simple as dinner, bowling or just putzin’ around someone’s apartment. 9 of 10 DLIHer’s say (..okay, maybe just two of us!) there’s a good chance you’ll have an instant click with someone there. They may not be your friend for life, they may not be in your wedding party, but they’ll be someone to chill with on rainy days and have inside jokes with and who knows, maybe they’ll be the person that changes your life…

How do you know the answer, if you never take the risk to ask the question? “What if”, isn’t always a bad way to think about it…


No comments yet — be the first.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s


Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 128 other followers

%d bloggers like this: