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It’s Not You…It’s Just THAT That. April 23, 2012

Posted by doinglaundryinheels in GoodGuys File, Life Lessons/Growing Up, Men, Relationships, Women.
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The GoodGuys File

Sometimes relationships just don’t work out. It’s not always because one side cheated, or the other is a jerk, sometimes it’s just bad timing, or the chemistry isn’t there, or they just don’t like the way you eat soup. Sometimes we notice that the feeling we’re looking for isn’t there. It’s no one’s fault, maybe it’s just that subconscious smell that makes bullies beat up geeks. And, as hard as it may be to swallow, if the other person just isn’t feeling you “like that”, isn’t it in everyone’s best interest for that person to end it? You can try to work it out for a few days, maybe weeks but the bottom line is if IT isn’t there, it’s not going to be.

I feel like the more time you spend with someone, the more you owe it to them to try and make it work, but if that means you’ve been dating for a few months, I see no problem with running as soon as you start to get “that” feeling. You know THAT feeling. It’s the feeling that your ears are going to eat themselves every time he/she speaks. When the way she eats soup makes you want to kill her parents for birthing her. When the way he winks at you makes you want to burn your face with warm water (slowly and painfully) so as to take your mind off of that revolting facial spasm that he just created. That might seem a bit harsh, but I’m telling you, if Mother Theresa saw that wink she’d throw herself into a pit of molten lava. But sometimes “that” feeling isn’t really the problem; the problem is that “that” feeling isn’t there. Now, if I’m confusing you, just go get a drink of water, take a deep breath, and I’ll try to explain. This “that” of which I speak is not that “that” of which I spoke. This “that” is THAT feeling you get when the person sitting across from you makes you want to kill yourself because you know they’re going to have to go home at some point and you don’t know what you’ll do with yourself without them, but the only thing that stops you is knowing you’ll get to see them again at some point and you don’t want to miss that. Some people call it love. If after a few months that feeling isn’t there, that’s as good a reason as any to end it. I’m not saying you should, but if you do, to me, it’s fully understandable. See, people have different reasons for being in relationships. Some people want someone hot: someone they can go around town with that everyone will be looking at. Some people want someone they can just be comfortable with: more of a friend they habitually sleep with. And others are looking for their soulmate: that person that completes them. No matter how you feel, though, if you aren’t meeting what they’re looking for, be it the loving feeling, comfort or a hot body, what it comes down to is that it really is not necessarily you, it might just be them not liking you. It’s their fault, so don’t feel bad. We’ve all been in the position of a friend telling us “Hey, it’s his loss”…and usually that line makes most people want to punch the other one in the face, but the fact of the matter is they’re telling you that because it’s true. Sometimes “THAT that” isn’t there…and that’s okay, because one day, it will be.

– Pascal

Pascal is a regular contributor to Doing Laundry in Heels and the male voice of reason behind life, love and sanity. Check out Who Is DLIH to learn more about Pascal and visit his very own mindless while, while all-together serious, rants at In and Out of Sanity.

DLIH Walks for a Cause! WALK MS 2012! April 18, 2012

Posted by doinglaundryinheels in Causes.
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On Sunday, April 15th, 2012 SK and Pascal woke up much earlier than anyone who’d been out drinking the night before ever should to make their way to Liberty State Park, NJ for WALK MS 2012. While the gathering may have been quite an ordeal to get to, the beauty of the park and all the people walking for a cause shadowed the long and confusing journey. DLIH was happy to be part of an amazing event that showcased what you can do if you really try and how unity can truly change the world.

Together we raised $1,278 dollars, a goal none of us had set and an achievement none of us expected! We were all more than thrilled to see our final number, for a group of five over $1,200 was a pretty big deal! We decorated our shirts in dedication to our friends and family who suffer from MS and walked in their honor! We hope our walk has inspired you to do one of your own or donate to a cause you feel passionate about!

There are times in life you may feel you can’t, don’t or just won’t matter enough to make a difference, but if every 5 people in the world raised twelve hundred dollars for a cause, we’d be a world with a lot less ill and a lot more freedom!

Thanks for joining us in our journey! We appreciate your support and thank anyone who donated!

Team Roz aka Team DLIH!

The Waltz of the Sports Fan April 12, 2012

Posted by doinglaundryinheels in Intro To, Sports.
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We grow up in a world of unrealized promise, crap shoots, and the benefit of hindsight. Because of this, we live vicariously through our sports heroes. We reminisce of the days when we’d wake up on a Saturday morning only caring that our mom washed our jersey for the game, the smell of the freshly cut grass as we ride up to the field, or the feeling of a newly cut rink under your skates. As we grow older, we lose access to these feelings through: laziness, school, jobs, relationships, etc, and find ourselves pining for what we once had. In lieu of having kids and doing a Joe Jackson on them (in a sports sense), most of us just turn to those guys that make an obscene living off of our reminiscences. We watch them play and think, what-if? What if I had worked harder, what if I were a little taller, what if I grew up in Alabama/California/New York/Canada? We watch them and bring them into our lives, into our homes, into our hearts. We revel in their successes and die with their failures. But because of the way we fully devote ourselves to our teams and their players, coaches, scouts, we also find ourselves despising certain aspects that come with the territory. As a person who started playing soccer and t-ball about as soon as I could walk, and one that has played organized soccer, baseball, football, tennis, hockey, and volleyball in my life, I have some strong feelings about sports teams and their fans.

Fair-Weather Fans – A fan of a sports team who only shows support when the team is doing well. During hard times they usually bandwagon other teams. They basically have no real loyalty to the team, but still manage to get better seats than you at the game! Strangely, they mysteriously vanish at the first sign of trouble. Personally, these are the worst types. Part of what makes a true fan is enjoying the success after suffering through oh-so-many bad seasons. As a Patriots fan, I see/hear these people all the time. They became fans in 2004 and don’t know what it’s like to root for a team that was 1-15. They were Broncos fans before the Pats, and Cowboys fans before that. They think Tom Brady should be traded and Bill Belichick fired. Not winning the Super Bowl means the team failed. Like the definition states, as soon as the team starts losing, they’re gone on to greener pastures. The only thing is, your team doesn’t get these types of “fans” unless they’re pretty good, so while you hate the fans, it’s nice to know why they are even there.

Cross Town Rivals – I’m not as adamant about this one, but for those in New York, I don’t understand how you can root for the Yankees AND the Mets. For one thing, rooting for the Mets is like rooting for the Coyotess. It might seem cute to root for the underdog, but GOD it must be frustrating. That said, I respect you Mets fans. It’s like being a Jets fan, nothing but heartbreak. But if you’ve stuck around, you’re a good one! You embody what it means to be a fan, through thick and thin. It’s like a marriage. But please, reader, stick with me here, this is about fans, not their crappy teams…I think this sentiment comes from High School. When I played school sports, our cross-town rivals were our most bitter of enemies. We would defecate on their tombstones, if they weren’t still spry teenagers with their whole lives ahead of them. We hated them with such fervor that it made our blood boil. So when it came to my pro-teams, the idea of rooting for the cross-town rival just seemed like it went against everything “sports”. It also seems like an entry into fair-weather fanning. Oh, the Cubs are bad, I’ll just root for the White Sox this year…just stop it, folks.

Player Defections – Let me just put a few names out there: Curtis Martin, Johnny Damon, Babe Ruth, that kid from Little Giants. What do all of these people have in common? They were superstars with their first team and left to find something shinier with the rival team. I guess I understand, “Sports is a business” is a line that is used ad nauseum in this country, and I get it. If the Mavs offered you $15M/year and the Spurs only offered $13.75M, that’s $1M+ per year that you’d be leaving on the table! But are you telling me you couldn’t have gotten that from any other team? Or you didn’t want to move out of state? I guess I can buy that…it just leaves a bad taste in my mouth. It seems like you’re just leaving to spite all of us…

Roy Williams – This could be named after a multitude of athletes. Practice!? We talkin’ about practice!? Not much is more aggravating than being a sports fan that would have loved nothing more than to be a pro athlete, then seeing a guy who was blessed with all the talent in the world have no interest in doing the work that’s necessary to ensure their success. Some guys take a few weeks off at the end of the season and get right back to work, others wait until the season starts to get back into shape. I guess it’s aggravating to see anyone throw away talent and potential due to laziness, but the amount of money involved, the accessibility to the masses, the strong ties to one’s team, and the callousness with which these players act just magnifies the situation. Ok, so you don’t workout in the offseason…DON’T TELL US THAT!!! Do you want us to bring that up every time you miss a shot or drop a pass? Or do you just not care? Whatever the reason, I hope you know we all hate you for it even if you don’t care about us little peons.

So the moral of the story, folks, is that if you’re going to be a sports fan, be a real one. Pick a sport, pick a team, and stick by it through the good and the bad. It’s like I said, it’s a marriage, better or worse, and no matter how lazy or fake a player may be, at the end of the day, they’ve got nothing to play for if the fans aren’t coming to the games.

– Pascal

Pascal is a regular contributor to Doing Laundry in Heels and the male voice of reason behind life, love and sanity. Check out Who Is DLIH to learn more about Pascal and visit his very own mindless while, while all-together serious, rants at In and Out of Sanity.

A Guy’s Girl April 9, 2012

Posted by doinglaundryinheels in Friendships, Men, Real World, Women.
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Whenever I hear a girl utter “I mean, I just get along better with guys. Most of my friends are guys.” I generally like to proceed by turning towards the nearest wall and ramming my face into it. It’s been this way since I was in High School, ladies trying to prove some kind of worth by publicly announcing that most of their friends are male. I assume the appeal is that guys will think they’re laid back, easy-going, can chill with their friends too, or maybe it’s some kind of statement of anti-girliness, like “I’m not going to take 5 hours to get ready, because I hang out with guys!”. The bottom line is, it doesn’t matter who you’re friends with, it doesn’t matter how many of each gender you hang out with on a regular basis. What matters is how you carry yourself and who you are as a person…so for all those chicks and dudes out there who need some further clarification on the topic…here we go:
Unbeknownst to me, most of my friends consider me to be a Guy’s Girl. I say unbeknownst to me because it’s rarely something I notice or even think about. When I go out or need someone to talk to, I think about who would be fun, trustworthy, honest…not who would make a better shopping buddy. From the time I was a toddler I always had friends who were boys. Don’t misunderstand, I had Barbies and plastic makeup just like every other little girl, pink wallpaper and an American Girl doll I insisted was my “daughter”, but I also distinctly remember being over at my cousin’s house and playing with his matchbox cars in his new car wash. Boys always had a fun side to them, they had nerf guns and skateboards, basketball hoops and could watch Jurassic Park without getting scared, it was an adventure! I just happen to be a lot more interested in what color my shoes are than which brand, how much pulled pork is in my sandwich rather than the calories I’m going to burn off later, and how meaningful my jewelry is, not how expensive.
That’s not a stereotype of women; it’s just a natural process of conversation. I often feel lost when girl’s start going on about how they need to get their hair dyed or catch the new Michael Kors bag before it flies off the shelves. That also doesn’t mean I like to sit around talking about x-box or the political situation in congress. There’s a scale and while most of us fall high or low, some of us just like to chill in the middle. We’re not doing it for show, it’s just who we are.
Guy’s Girls get a bad rap because of all those females out there claiming to be us. Many call us insecure and needy, seeking attention. Other girls are jealous of us, other guys aren’t always happy about it, and then there are the ones that think every Guy’s Girl is an easy one night stand because they can woo us with sports talk. That’s why we find each other, most Guy’s Girls are friends with other Guy’s Girls because we feel lonely, we feel betrayed and sometimes we do want to talk about lipstick and cramps! Mostly, we get each other, we don’t get jealous and we understand why spending five hours in the mall is not the height of our weekend.
The point of what I’m saying isn’t to defend who we are or bash girls who are different. The important thing to remember, for anyone, is that we don’t pick our friends. We meet people by simple instances of fate and if we’re lucky enough, we have a great connection with them and can’t help but hang out more. So, if spending the day at the mall talking about Dolce is your thing, by all means, round-up the troops and strategize! Just don’t ever be someone you’re not, people will accept you for you, after some trial and error you’ll find the people who do care about you and let you be entirely yourself. Find your friends by who they inspire you to be, not who you think you need to be to prove something.

The Rules of Kindergarten April 5, 2012

Posted by doinglaundryinheels in Apartment Life, Friendships, H-Blog, Humor, Jobs and Work, Real World.
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We all know about video blogging…well, looks like DLIH is tipping it’s high heeled toes into the lake of face to face online venting! (or, at least, that’s what I call it!) Welcome to the video blog of Doing Laundry in Heels: H-Blog! ….Heels Blog, of course!

H-Blog: The Rules of Kindergarten

Please comment and let me know what you thought and what you’d like to hear me H-Blog about!!!!

Multiple Sclerosis – Walking For a Cure April 3, 2012

Posted by doinglaundryinheels in Causes.
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For most people, a walk down the street is an everyday, average thing.You hear the birds, smell the fresh air and take in the sights. You see all sorts of people, all sorts of nationalities and genders, ages and races. A walk can be a great thing but for many people in world, it’s no longer an everyday or average thing. Multiple Sclerosis affects over 400,000 people in the United States alone. Many people who have MS don’t even have visible symptoms yet or are on medication to prevent the early onset of these life altering changes. However, people with MS are great people, they’re just like you or I and they deserve to be just as happy and free as you or I. Walk MS 2012 is one step towards the day that everyone can go out for a stroll and not have to think twice. 

Pascal and SK are working to raise money not only for a cure, but for the MS Society who has programs that help those living with MS today. It’s a great cause and your contributions will help not only our team but a neighbor, a friend, a college, a family member or even someone you may have never met. Read the full article about WALK MS 2012 Team DLIH and learn more about what Multiple Sclerosis is.

To donate please follow this link, even $5 will help. Thank you!


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