Taking the Red Pill – Part II September 18, 2015Posted by doinglaundryinheels in Finances, Following Your Dreams, Jobs and Work, Life Lessons/Growing Up, Real World.
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Design your own life, huh? Design your own life. Often times, when I’m looking for DLIH inspiration or reposts, I scour the internet for things that I think will be helpful or encouraging to twenty-something’s out there. When I stumbled upon Gilbert Ross’s article last month, I was so drawn in by the words on my screen. I felt like the universe had pushed me, head first, into that webpage. It couldn’t have come at a better time.
When I left my fulltime job six months ago, I had a plan. Just because you have a plan doesn’t mean you do anything about it. Albert Einstein said, “Try not to become a man of success, but rather try to become a man of value.” Everyone can sit down and write out a plan, all it is, is pen to paper. Sure, it’s a step, but if you take no action on that plan, then what was the point? Does it just make a pretty picture? The value is seeing your plan through, not just talking about how successful you want to be. For the last six months my friends and family had been telling me “do something about your plan. Just try!” In the back of my mind I knew I needed to, I knew they were right but I still didn’t do anything about it. The truth is, I was, and still am, absolutely terrified. I think the hardest part wasn’t taking the first step, it was admitting why I wasn’t doing anything about it. Telling people you’re scared is hard.
I won’t lie and tell you that after I got the ball rolling things were easy, they actually got harder. There is an element of embarrassment that comes with starting over in your late twenties. Putting yourself out there for jobs you are overqualified for or to be an intern is difficult, it makes you very vulnerable. Think about when you get rejected for your dream job, it sucks, but at least you tried; now think about when you get rejected for a job you are 100% perfect for, it’s annoying. Now, envision you get rejected for an internship when you’ve been in the workforce for ten years and have loads of experience…what is that, if not embarrassing?
It’s also hard to follow your dream when you’re a grown-up because you still need to earn money, somewhat. I’m lucky that I’m not flipping burgers or ringing items up at Target, I have a part-time jobs that’s in line with my career path but, once again, I’m being bossed around by managers younger than me, or often asked if “I’m in school” or “if this is my summer job”. No, I’m an adult. In fact, I’m so adult that the majority of my friends are either, married, have kids, or a mortgage, or all three! I don’t remember the last time I was out past 11pm and my favorite thing to do is watch movies with my cat. Ask me again if I’m “old enough to drink”, I dare you.
I’m not saying all these things because I want to stifle anyone’s ambitions. I’m saying them because I am confident there are other people out there who are starting over in their twenties and they are going through exactly this. When you’re tired, or confused, or don’t know which step to take next, remember that if not now, then when? One of my friends said something encouraging to me recently; I was telling her, over lunch, how hard this was, what bad timing it was with my wedding and all, and she just sat their with this huge smile on her face as I poured my heart out all over my salad. Then she said to me, “I think this is the perfect time.” It wasn’t much, but she brought a different outlook to the situation. There are people out there who reinvent themselves at 50. It might feel like we’re in a pressure cooker, like we have to make smart choices right now, right this second, because we want to have a nice life in three-five years, but take a step back and look around – people with three kids change careers, people who are forty-five go back to school, if it means having a happier life or following your dream you should do it, you will figure out how to conquer the obstacles later, and you will conquer them.
If starting over when you’re a little older has one advantage it’s that you have been through the ringer once before, you know how to handle life and you’re less flustered when things hit you. The last time you did this you were probably in college or simply younger and you were naive, you thought you’d get a dream job and have a penthouse apartment by the time you were thirty. Now, you know what life is, and how it works and you can handle it, even if you think you can’t. You can.
Just remember, if other people can do it, then you can. You can.
30 Is Not the New 20 – Now is The Time! August 30, 2015Posted by doinglaundryinheels in Dating, Finances, Jobs and Work, Life Lessons/Growing Up, marriage, Real World, Relationships.
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My entire life I have focused on a timeline; I want to be living on my own at 18, I want to be stable at 24, I want to be married by 28, I want a baby at 30. People thought I was crazy, they told me it was too much pressure to box myself into such a strict timeline, but I didn’t see it as an ultimatum, I saw it as a map, a series of gems to collect along my life path to the age of 30. To this day, people don’t get it but Dr. Meg Jay said it best – milestones are important!
If you want to know why your twenties are, not only, the craziest, but the MOST important decade in your life, mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually, read this amazing Q & A with clinical psychologist and author of The Defining Decade, Dr. Meg Jay. Here’s a quick taste:
“Our 20s are the defining decade of adulthood. 80% of life’s most defining moments take place by about age 35. 2/3 of lifetime wage growth happens during the first ten years of a career. More than half of Americans are married or are dating or living with their future partner by age 30. Personality can change more during our 20s than at any other decade in life. Female fertility peaks at 28. The brain caps off its last major growth spurt. When it comes to adult development, 30 is not the new 20. Even if you do nothing, not making choices is a choice all the same. Don’t be defined by what you didn’t know or didn’t do.”
Wedding Planning – People Will Be Mean to You August 1, 2015Posted by doinglaundryinheels in Jobs and Work, Life Lessons/Growing Up, Real World, Wedding.
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Every movie you see, every reality show you watch, and everything everyone tells you makes you feel like once you’re a bride the world is all pink and fluffy and you have this impenetrable glow around you. The wedding industry is all about happiness, how can you not feel warm and cozy inside when you work with brides and grooms and you’re basically making their dreams come true? How can someone not be happy when they get to do that everyday? Well, the wedding industry gets the Oscar for best deception. I’m going to break it to you, and I’m going to break it to you hard; When you are getting married – people will be mean to you.
The Industry – Keep in mind that wedding venues, wedding cakes, wedding dresses, they are all part of an industry just like anything else. There are friendly accountants and there are rude accountants; you’ve meet really nice servers and really nasty servers; some doctors care about you and your feelings, some just care about getting you in and out the door. We have this perception that the wedding industry is somehow exempt from this kind of seesaw, but it’s a business like all other businesses. Not everyone who has a job loves it, and I know what you’re thinking, “how can you be miserable and you’re coordinating a freakin’ wedding!?”, but people are. They’re human. Most people will great you with smiles, handshakes and congratulations, but there are those who just want you to see the space, try the cake, have the meeting and then be on your way. Not everyone watches Four Weddings religiously, like you do.
The Pressure – People who are in the wedding industry deal with a lot. At any given point they are receiving multiple emails from multiple brides, phone calls and a thousand requests. They are only one person so they can only handle one thing at a time. A lot of these people just fold under the stress, so while they aren’t trying to be mean to you, personally, they’re probably just being mean to everyone that day. People who have been doing this a long time may also feel like they know better than you. When planning a wedding, it’s important you work with people who advise and guide but also hear your vision, and not try to force their opinions on you. We recently met a venue coordinator who was adamant that we get married in November (more…)
The Evolving Marketer – Take II July 26, 2015Posted by doinglaundryinheels in 21st Century/Technology, Education, Following Your Dreams, Jobs and Work.
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I don’t often post content that isn’t fresh and original on DLIH, but I recently wrote this post for my professional blog and while writing it thought, “Hey, this is totally relevant!”. DLIH is all about improving yourself, being your best you, and continuously evolving and growing. Professionally speaking, it’s a real reality check to find yourself behind the trend or technology and personally, I always want to be learning something new! So, with out further ado, The Evolving Marketer.
There are many of us who don’t remember life before Facebook; even more so, those of us who often find ourselves reminiscing about that mysterious Tom on MySpace. It’s no secret that the world of social media has not only evolved over the last fifteen years, but it has exploded. In fact, technology itself has taken over the mediums we once knew as “media” and formed into an animal all its own. Newspaper subscriptions are now online editions, YouTube has created hosts, singers, makeup artists and comedians, and the ways in which we communicate with one another are not just through written word anymore, but through a variety of virtual vocabularies.
In 2008, I was in my social media prime. There were so many social media positions available and I was exactly what they were looking for, young, knowledgable and grew up with this booming technology. I could set up a Facebook note, I could schedule a post, I could make your blog look like you paid me twice as much to do it. I had gotten my first social media marketing gig and while I was nailing the Facebook growth, there was this website called Twitter, which alluded me, so, in an effort to better understand how this 140 character blab fest could be used to sell our products, I set up my own account and played around. What I learned, very quickly, was that Twitter wasn’t a place for teenagers to mindlessly jibber-jabber, and it also wasn’t a place to sell – it was a platform on which to build community. (more…)
Repost: Make Work Life Work For You! July 1, 2015Posted by doinglaundryinheels in Jobs and Work, Life Lessons/Growing Up, Real World.
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Several months ago, I stumbled upon this great article by some “googlers” on what they learned working at, the famous, Google. As I read, I realized this wasn’t about Google, not really, it was about anyone’s professional life in the office and how to succeed. When stripped down, the message was about how to be successful, make good choices, be brave and make your work life work for you! As someone who is in the process of looking for that perfect job, it inspired me and I knew it would inspire others too!
Where’s My Time?! June 24, 2015Posted by doinglaundryinheels in Jobs and Work, Life Lessons/Growing Up.
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If you visit DLIH often, you may have noticed a significant drop in posts as of late. There are two main excuses for this, number being I’m sorry and I’m lame. Number two, I have no time.
When I first left my 9-5 (back in April) I remember feeling a great sense of relief. There is something very magical about suddenly having complete control of your schedule. That doesn’t mean I wake up at noon and pour myself an entire bowl of ice cream before sitting on the couch until 4pm, but it does allow for more flexibility in terms of getting things done. When you work a standard 9-5, Monday through Friday, you’ve got two days to get everything you’ve been putting off completed; laundry, shopping, responding to several e-mails, picking up the dry cleaning, getting more dog food, working out. So you leave one day for couch sitting and friend seeing and the other day is one giant chore. So, when you have a day off here and there, and only work half a day on this day, you’ve got more time to spread things out while still making money.
The first month or so was incredible. I felt like I was just getting things done all over the place! I told all my friends about this new-found freedom I had for doing the dishes and cleaning my kitchen. Then May hit, between long work weeks, a family trip, arranging future travel and other responsibilities, time seemed like the one thing I never had! Which bears the question – is flexibility really better? (more…)
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If you have’t noticed yet, I re-post a lot of Elite Daily articles. It’s a site I really admire because they have a lot of great things to say, especially to twenty-somethings. Most recently, I found this article on how those in their 20’s need to stop thinking like those in their 30’s. While I was reading it, I found myself disagreeing with many of the points that were made. I like reading different people’s views or opinions on life, most of all, how their experiences have shaped them, and I do think that there are always beneficial moments to take from everything you read. However, when we are encouraging or supporting those who are coming up after us, I think it’s very important to reinforce positive information for all types of people and all sorts of girls. We come from different backgrounds, upbringings and cultures, so there cannot be an end all be all of how to live your life, or grown-up or shape your future. So, here is my own version of Why 20-Something Women Need To Stop Thinking Like 30-Something Women (but instead, think for themselves!) –
We have all totally been “that girl”. That girl who had two too many glasses of Pinot and starts off on her pity party about never falling in love, having a baby too late in life, never making it in her career, “I just don’t get what’s wrong with me! How is Lindsay Lohan, who’s a total mess, famous and buying houses and cars while I’m an educated, smart, caring girl and I can’t even get a full-time job, or a boyfriend, or a nice apartment?!” I know I’ve been that girl. (more…)
My Mom Told Me One Day I’d like Yoga April 15, 2015Posted by doinglaundryinheels in Family, Jobs and Work, Life Lessons/Growing Up, Real World.
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“Yoga comes with age. You’ll understand when you’re older”, she told me. I find yoga exhausting, they expect you to put your body in upside down, backwards positions, while channeling your inner Gandhi and then tell you to “just breathe”. An instructor once asked me, “Do you feel how your core is spiraling upwards with every breath?”, I looked over at my mom, she looked like a sleeping kitten in her “corkscrew prayer”. I am sure the question was rhetorical, so naturally, I answered “All I feel is pain?”. At the time, everyone laughed, but in all honesty, does anything but wisdom actually come with age? Yes.
The list of things my mother told me, that actually came true:
“One day, you will understand how to just sit and be”
I recently returned from my third trip to London. The first words out of my mouth were “I understand tea now.” I spent the majority of my time alone, sitting, with a pot of tea, and a little cup and saucer, watching other people, thinking about my life. I did not read, I did not play with my phone, I did not search for something to do, and I didn’t hate it. Other people didn’t bother me, they just were; My silence didn’t bother me, I just was. I now own my own tea pot (courtesy of a lovely boyfriend), and I have tea time almost daily, with no one but myself, for no one but myself.
When you are younger, you are doing everything to get somewhere – physically and metaphorically. You are running from job to job, store to store, and when you’re not running, you’re trying to figure out how to get another job, another paycheck, another date. There is little stillness in your early twenties. A big step in my adulthood, that I had long looked forward to was buying my own car. I now know you can drive to drive, and not to get somewhere. That doesn’t mean you are aimlessly driving around the neighborhood, it means that while you are on your way to the grocery store, you just drive – there is no reason to get there earlier, there is no reason not to be late. You can’t control road traffic, or train malfunctions, or your alarm clock breaking, so you just accept what you can’t change, and drive, and eventually you will get were you are going.
I cry a lot. I cry a lot in just about every area of life except work. Unless my mommy is there, then I cry all the time. So when I was a teenager she would often look at me and yell “Stop crying!”. I thought it was because the act was annoying, loud, obnoxious, a pathetic attempt at getting my way, or simply happened so often the sincerity of it was totally false. I’m sure it was all of those things, but on a deeper level, it was a piece of guidance. We are human, and it’s healthy to have emotions, but you can’t just let them pour out of you like an overflowing bathtub. There is a time and a place to do those things, and at work, on the street, in a store, out to dinner, when you have company over, when you are cooking, are not those times. Learn to keep it in, and learn to let it out. Today, there are many times I want to start crying, like when I am accused of saying something I never said, or when my flight at the airport has been delayed for the third time, I can come very close to it, but I don’t, because I know that I can’t let myself fall apart right then. (more…)
The Keys to Success March 14, 2015Posted by doinglaundryinheels in 21st Century/Technology, Finances, Following Your Dreams, Jobs and Work, Life Lessons/Growing Up, Tips and Tricks.
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Learn to laugh at yourself. Invest in your future. Take responsibility. Have a thick skin. Don’t be afraid to take risks.
What do all these things have in common? Success. Success isn’t something you stumble upon, it’s something you work towards. This article illustrates some of the top traits successful people have, and how to hone in on your own success! Whether it’s in class, at work, or in your personal growth, success is what you make of it!
Boxed Into Your Job February 24, 2015Posted by doinglaundryinheels in Finances, Following Your Dreams, How To, Jobs and Work, Life Lessons/Growing Up, Real World.
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I DO NOT DO SALES. It’s like I need to tattoo it onto my forehead for people to hear me clearly. I’ve done sales once or twice in my life, I’ve been fairly good at it, so that’s all people hear, that’s all they see, that’s all I am to them.What am I really? I am a human being with ambition. I am a person who wants to be constantly challenged and if I’m giving the chance, I’ll prove that i can be trusted, and that I can exceed people’s expectations. What I am not is a one trick pony. What I am not is a person who can only be good at one thing.
Do you ever feel like all your boss sees you as is what you are? For many of us, this is the case, whether it’s the profession we’ve chosen or the company we work for, we are only seen as the job we hold, we are only as good as our last day of work. There is this culture in American that if you work hard and long and always say yes, you’ll get a promotion and you’ll grow, however, for many jobs that’s just not true. If you’ve ever been labeled at your job, you understand. That new job opens up in a different department, and it’s something you know you’d just rock at, but when you apply your supervisors tell you that they’re really looking for someone with more specific experience, or that they are really happy with where you are now and a promotion in your division should open up soon. How are you supposed to respond to that? It’s both a compliment and in insult all at once. Better yet, the employers who do offer you a job, for something you did two years ago, because to them that is what you do. Despite how much you’ve grown as a person, despite your age, the place you are in your life, your expenses. Thanks for thinking I was good when we worked together 24 months ago, but now I’m even better, and I’m ready for something new! That internship was awesome when I was 22, I’m almost 25 now and I don’t want to be in the same office space as someone learning how to refill a stapler. (more…)