Here Comes The Stress July 20, 2015Posted by doinglaundryinheels in Following Your Dreams, Life Lessons/Growing Up, Real World, Relationships, Wedding.
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A little over three weeks ago I made a solemn DLIH promise to be more active, post more articles, and long story short, just be better. Then I went on two back-to-back vacations and, oh yeah, got a little ring to wear on my left hand. Traveling has never stopped me from posting before, so being overseas wasn’t necessarily the issue. The problem arose when all my “free” time was now suddenly filled with wedding ideas and planning. Let me just say, I’ve watched a lot of TLC and WE in my day so I was full prepared to not be a Bridezilla and not let this wedding take over my life, I also didn’t want DLIH to become wedding central. So, with my mind on a wedding and a wedding on my mind, you can imagine all other ideas involving life and writing were few and far between.
Then something occurred to me, talking about my wedding, or any wedding, does not mean writing a nine paragraph post on how to make a doily or pick out candle wax colors. What I am realizing is that I am feeling very alone in this process, this process that has been glorified by so many people before me. In all my searches online I have found all the standard advice “Take deep breaths”, “Don’t make rash decisions”, “Do what you want to do, not what your guests want”, but I haven’t found any real advice. No one told me that getting married involves hours and hours of research, you write countless e-mails and make a series of phone calls to no avail. Half the time you have to follow-up, you get a voicemail system, or you just don’t hear the answers you want. It’s a part-time job, sometimes a full-time job, and while the end result is worth it, no one really tells you how much of your life it’s going to consumer.
I always thought I’d be that bride that was cool, calm and collected. A. I’m not spending $80,000, B. I do events for a living, this should all be second nature to me and C. I am more organized that The Container Store, yet I’ve spent more time freaking out and crying then planning and I haven’t been engaged a month yet. I never thought it would be this hard, because I didn’t know. So, I figured, there have got to be other brides out there, or girls, or guys, who really don’t know anything about weddings, just like me. My parents did not have a big wedding, I don’t have older siblings, and I’m the first out of my bridal party to be having a wedding. You can read all the articles you want, but no one is going to know how it feels expect the person the process.
I’m learning a lot, and to not share your knowledge with those who need it is just mean! I can’t say I have a lot of wisdom to impart quite yet, but I have learned one very valuable thing. When you get engaged, everyone is around to celebrate with you, and scream and shout, and cry with you. However, when you start planning, everyone is looking to you for answers, they are asking you questions and giving opinions and it can be incredibly overwhelming. Planning this has made me feel like it’s my fiancé and I against the entire world, it’s has only reaffirmed that this is the person I want to marry and spend the rest of my life with and this wedding, these napkin choices, are going to be small blemishes on the obstacles we will face in life.
The first piece of advice I would give is this: A wedding should bring you closer, it should make you happy to sleep side by side that person every night. Even when you feel like your efforts are hopeless, there is a second person in it with you, no matter what. Even if you have to get married in a paper bag next to a muddy creak, it shouldn’t matter, because they will be there, making sure that it’s the best paper bag in the world.
Repost: Make Work Life Work For You! July 1, 2015Posted by doinglaundryinheels in Jobs and Work, Life Lessons/Growing Up, Real World.
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Several months ago, I stumbled upon this great article by some “googlers” on what they learned working at, the famous, Google. As I read, I realized this wasn’t about Google, not really, it was about anyone’s professional life in the office and how to succeed. When stripped down, the message was about how to be successful, make good choices, be brave and make your work life work for you! As someone who is in the process of looking for that perfect job, it inspired me and I knew it would inspire others too!
I Do Not Have a White Picket Fence Family June 28, 2015Posted by doinglaundryinheels in Family, Life Lessons/Growing Up, Relationships.
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You know when you’re driving down the highway and you see a mini-van pass with those little family stick figures on the back window? Some have Mickey Mouse ears, others include pets, and then there are the cars that illustrate seven children and make you think “Ohjeez!”. I think it’s easy for us to believe what we see on TV, families who are large, and loving and perfect, or even families who are large and dysfunctional and imperfect. Whether it’s a happily married couple with five adopted children, or a recovering alcoholic single-mom and her son trying to make ends-meat, there is always an underlying lesson of “family is everything”. All these shows we watch, reality or scripted, they all end with the same theme, no matter what happens your family will be there for you, unconditionally and always.
However, I don’t have a family like that, and I know I’m not the only one. My father isn’t in jail, my brother isn’t on drugs, no one is verbally abusing me, or kicked me out of the house at sixteen, there is nothing over the top wrong with my family or it’s members, I just don’t have the kind of family you can always count on when times are tough. I didn’t grow up in a trailer park, or had a mom who had to work five jobs to keep food on the table, I had a very normal, great, middle class childhood. For many of us, not having this strong, dynamic, close-knit family is not a product of something that happened or didn’t happen, it’s just how our lives panned out. (more…)
Where’s My Time?! June 24, 2015Posted by doinglaundryinheels in Jobs and Work, Life Lessons/Growing Up.
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If you visit DLIH often, you may have noticed a significant drop in posts as of late. There are two main excuses for this, number being I’m sorry and I’m lame. Number two, I have no time.
When I first left my 9-5 (back in April) I remember feeling a great sense of relief. There is something very magical about suddenly having complete control of your schedule. That doesn’t mean I wake up at noon and pour myself an entire bowl of ice cream before sitting on the couch until 4pm, but it does allow for more flexibility in terms of getting things done. When you work a standard 9-5, Monday through Friday, you’ve got two days to get everything you’ve been putting off completed; laundry, shopping, responding to several e-mails, picking up the dry cleaning, getting more dog food, working out. So you leave one day for couch sitting and friend seeing and the other day is one giant chore. So, when you have a day off here and there, and only work half a day on this day, you’ve got more time to spread things out while still making money.
The first month or so was incredible. I felt like I was just getting things done all over the place! I told all my friends about this new-found freedom I had for doing the dishes and cleaning my kitchen. Then May hit, between long work weeks, a family trip, arranging future travel and other responsibilities, time seemed like the one thing I never had! Which bears the question – is flexibility really better? (more…)
What is that Twenty-Somethings Really Want?! May 22, 2015Posted by doinglaundryinheels in Apartment Life, Dating, Family, Finances, Friendships, Life Lessons/Growing Up, Real World, Relationships, Traveling.
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This article really resonated with me, and everything I have felt at one point or another. Take a read, and remember that you’re not the only one out there who wants the simply things – like a couch that’s not from Ikea (that you probably failed to put together…twice).
Work has been crazy over in DLIH land! But I promise, new posts, insightful articles, and more randomness coming very, very soon!!!
Simply Your Life! May 8, 2015Posted by doinglaundryinheels in 21st Century/Technology, Health and Fitness, Life Lessons/Growing Up, Real World.
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10 ways to simply your life! An amazing story that can motivate, educate and inspire us all to tone down our lives and enjoy them so much more!
Read this great article over at Relevant Magazine now! It’ll change your views on your own life, for sure!
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If you have’t noticed yet, I re-post a lot of Elite Daily articles. It’s a site I really admire because they have a lot of great things to say, especially to twenty-somethings. Most recently, I found this article on how those in their 20’s need to stop thinking like those in their 30’s. While I was reading it, I found myself disagreeing with many of the points that were made. I like reading different people’s views or opinions on life, most of all, how their experiences have shaped them, and I do think that there are always beneficial moments to take from everything you read. However, when we are encouraging or supporting those who are coming up after us, I think it’s very important to reinforce positive information for all types of people and all sorts of girls. We come from different backgrounds, upbringings and cultures, so there cannot be an end all be all of how to live your life, or grown-up or shape your future. So, here is my own version of Why 20-Something Women Need To Stop Thinking Like 30-Something Women (but instead, think for themselves!) –
We have all totally been “that girl”. That girl who had two too many glasses of Pinot and starts off on her pity party about never falling in love, having a baby too late in life, never making it in her career, “I just don’t get what’s wrong with me! How is Lindsay Lohan, who’s a total mess, famous and buying houses and cars while I’m an educated, smart, caring girl and I can’t even get a full-time job, or a boyfriend, or a nice apartment?!” I know I’ve been that girl. (more…)
This is What They Meant When They Said “Old” April 24, 2015Posted by doinglaundryinheels in 21st Century/Technology, children, Life Lessons/Growing Up, Real World.
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“So, have you heard of them? They’re kids, so be patient with them if they seem a little over excited.” I said, as I instructed a group of teenage boys.
“Oh, okay…well, we’re basically kids too.” The sweeter one of the group said, with a smile.
Is it wrong I had no idea how to respond? Some strange mix of vowels and consonants worked it’s way up into my throat, but I didn’t dare let them out because I could already tell it would be something strange and non-translatable, a weird noise really. Instead, I swallowed them back down and responded, “Haha, yes, but they are kids, like, little kids, like elementary school.”
The two seventeen year-olds blinked. Cute.
I don’t claim to be old and wise, nor do I claim to be “old” to sound cool or make those decades older than me feel ancient, I say it, because I finally feel it. Surprise, it has arrived! The last job description I looked at had the phrase “preferably ages between 18-25, or those with a younger appearance.” I almost threw-up, everywhere. I remember when I used to read those and laugh, laugh at how A. Young I’ve always looked for my age, B. How funny that statement was and C. How old 25 for that position seemed.When you’re in my line of work, age does matter (I also just made myself sound like a stripper, fantastic). I read that and almost hit “apply” until I realized I had aged out. It’s not growing older that bothers me, in fact, I am secretly already planning 30th and 40th birthday parties, it’s the fact that I haven’t realized I’ve aged out. To those seventeen year-old boys, I was some very attractive LADY, a LADY. I’m not even a college girl, I’m a grown-up. ew.
My Mom Told Me One Day I’d like Yoga April 15, 2015Posted by doinglaundryinheels in Family, Jobs and Work, Life Lessons/Growing Up, Real World.
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“Yoga comes with age. You’ll understand when you’re older”, she told me. I find yoga exhausting, they expect you to put your body in upside down, backwards positions, while channeling your inner Gandhi and then tell you to “just breathe”. An instructor once asked me, “Do you feel how your core is spiraling upwards with every breath?”, I looked over at my mom, she looked like a sleeping kitten in her “corkscrew prayer”. I am sure the question was rhetorical, so naturally, I answered “All I feel is pain?”. At the time, everyone laughed, but in all honesty, does anything but wisdom actually come with age? Yes.
The list of things my mother told me, that actually came true:
“One day, you will understand how to just sit and be”
I recently returned from my third trip to London. The first words out of my mouth were “I understand tea now.” I spent the majority of my time alone, sitting, with a pot of tea, and a little cup and saucer, watching other people, thinking about my life. I did not read, I did not play with my phone, I did not search for something to do, and I didn’t hate it. Other people didn’t bother me, they just were; My silence didn’t bother me, I just was. I now own my own tea pot (courtesy of a lovely boyfriend), and I have tea time almost daily, with no one but myself, for no one but myself.
When you are younger, you are doing everything to get somewhere – physically and metaphorically. You are running from job to job, store to store, and when you’re not running, you’re trying to figure out how to get another job, another paycheck, another date. There is little stillness in your early twenties. A big step in my adulthood, that I had long looked forward to was buying my own car. I now know you can drive to drive, and not to get somewhere. That doesn’t mean you are aimlessly driving around the neighborhood, it means that while you are on your way to the grocery store, you just drive – there is no reason to get there earlier, there is no reason not to be late. You can’t control road traffic, or train malfunctions, or your alarm clock breaking, so you just accept what you can’t change, and drive, and eventually you will get were you are going.
I cry a lot. I cry a lot in just about every area of life except work. Unless my mommy is there, then I cry all the time. So when I was a teenager she would often look at me and yell “Stop crying!”. I thought it was because the act was annoying, loud, obnoxious, a pathetic attempt at getting my way, or simply happened so often the sincerity of it was totally false. I’m sure it was all of those things, but on a deeper level, it was a piece of guidance. We are human, and it’s healthy to have emotions, but you can’t just let them pour out of you like an overflowing bathtub. There is a time and a place to do those things, and at work, on the street, in a store, out to dinner, when you have company over, when you are cooking, are not those times. Learn to keep it in, and learn to let it out. Today, there are many times I want to start crying, like when I am accused of saying something I never said, or when my flight at the airport has been delayed for the third time, I can come very close to it, but I don’t, because I know that I can’t let myself fall apart right then. (more…)
Why There’s a Time, a Place, and a How April 11, 2015Posted by doinglaundryinheels in 21st Century/Technology, Friendships, Life Lessons/Growing Up, Real World, Relationships.
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Over the course of my twenties, I’ve made lots of mistakes (some of which, are in this very sentence ;) )! The best thing about doing things wrong, is learning to do them right. Think back to when you were four, and your mom told you not to touch the hot iron, it wasn’t a toy, but the temptation was too much to bear! The second mom left the room, you touched it, just with the tip of your index finger, but it was enough to teach you that there is a reason mom told you stay away. There is a time, a place, and a how for all things.
So, over the years I’ve made a collection of the biggest faux pas, both mine and others, that I’ve seen. There are certain things in life that people just can’t seem to get right, and not only that, but it also seems they occur at more than one occasion, with more than one group of people. Here are the things that have an etiquette, whether you like it or not.
Sending out invites on time – Whether it’s your birthday, a surprise party, your wedding, or a going away shindig, people have lives and the sooner they know about something, the better it will be for everyone involved! Obviously, if it’s a big event, like an anniversary celebration, or your bachelorette party, you’re going to want to do something a little more formal, and since this is such big event, give people the opportunity to make time for you, a month, or even more in advance is probably appropriate. Something a little smaller scale like your birthday may not require a mailed RSVP card, but it’s still nice to give people at least two weeks notice so they can try to make it. A while back I got an invite to a bachelorette party a week before it was happening, I was devastated because I had been looking forward to it, but anticipated it at a later date. What made it worse was that I was on a business trip, something I couldn’t get out of, and something I could have easily rescheduled had I known far in advance. Who won? No one! I didn’t get to go! She didn’t get to see me! And much, much, drinking was missed by both sides. (Friends don’t let friends miss drinks, just sayin’.) If you are sending out invites to an event, another thing to keep in mind is those who may not be getting one. If they aren’t invited, don’t talk about the event in front of them. If they are invited, make sure they get all the details, and make sure they ARE actually invited. There was a once a wedding I was invited to, but never got a save the date, it was clear I got cut from the final guest list, which wouldn’t have been so bad, if I hadn’t already been so honored to be asked to attend initially. (more…)