Boxed Into Your Job February 24, 2015Posted by doinglaundryinheels in Finances, Following Your Dreams, How To, Jobs and Work, Life Lessons/Growing Up, Real World.
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I DO NOT DO SALES. It’s like I need to tattoo it onto my forehead for people to hear me clearly. I’ve done sales once or twice in my life, I’ve been fairly good at it, so that’s all people hear, that’s all they see, that’s all I am to them.What am I really? I am a human being with ambition. I am a person who wants to be constantly challenged and if I’m giving the chance, I’ll prove that i can be trusted, and that I can exceed people’s expectations. What I am not is a one trick pony. What I am not is a person who can only be good at one thing.
Do you ever feel like all your boss sees you as is what you are? For many of us, this is the case, whether it’s the profession we’ve chosen or the company we work for, we are only seen as the job we hold, we are only as good as our last day of work. There is this culture in American that if you work hard and long and always say yes, you’ll get a promotion and you’ll grow, however, for many jobs that’s just not true. If you’ve ever been labeled at your job, you understand. That new job opens up in a different department, and it’s something you know you’d just rock at, but when you apply your supervisors tell you that they’re really looking for someone with more specific experience, or that they are really happy with where you are now and a promotion in your division should open up soon. How are you supposed to respond to that? It’s both a compliment and in insult all at once. Better yet, the employers who do offer you a job, for something you did two years ago, because to them that is what you do. Despite how much you’ve grown as a person, despite your age, the place you are in your life, your expenses. Thanks for thinking I was good when we worked together 24 months ago, but now I’m even better, and I’m ready for something new! That internship was awesome when I was 22, I’m almost 25 now and I don’t want to be in the same office space as someone learning how to refill a stapler.
Hiring professionals will tell you to get some experience under your belt, do some volunteering, work for a non-profit, get a portfolio going by doing work for friends but this isn’t that kind of article. This is the kind of article that screams “I know! what the hell!”, this is the kind of article that gives the middle finger to all your past employers who felt you were good enough as you were and didn’t want to give you a chance. Sometimes, life isn’t about sitting down and looking at the bright side, it’s about getting a bottle of wine and whinnying about it.
However, there is always a time to look at the bigger picture, even if it’s not a bright one (…and maybe only after two glasses of wine). Let’s say you got that promotion, let’s say you took that job you wanted, would your boss be any different? Would they see you as someone who deserved it, would they acknowledge your talents? Sometimes what we don’t get is a sign of something we don’t need, everything happens for a reason even if at the times it never seems fair. The reward is greater with greater risk, so if there is something you really want out of life, keep working to get it, it won’t come easy, it will make you envious of others who seem to have everything you want, but when you finally get that dream job, everything you went through will be so worth it! Plus…you’ll have wine the entire time, so, it can’t be all bad, now can it.
Spa Day Saturday! February 21, 2015Posted by doinglaundryinheels in Beauty, Health and Fitness, Life Lessons/Growing Up, Women.
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One of my personal projects the last several months has been leading a more fulfilling life. Ultimately, this is a dream that’s unattainable, since we know life will never be perfect, but I want to be healthy emotionally and mentally, not just physically, which means finding time to do things that make me feel happy, even if they are small. I would call taking care of myself a luxury, because for years I’ve been preaching about taking care of yourself, I’ve been told that I need to make me my number one priority, but when you’re hustling and just trying to get by, it falls to the bottom of the to-do list.
Being a girl is also part of allowing yourself to be special. Sometimes, being healthy just means watching 13 Going on 30 while doing your nails, and not having anyone need you, judge you, or annoy you. So, late last year I created Spa Day Saturday. “Saturday” can be a Friday, it can be a Monday morning, it can be a Thursday afternoon, it doesn’t matter when you do it, as long as you allow yourself to do it and not let anything stand in the way of that.
Every Saturday morning I wake up, I make a coffee and I watch TV on the coach for a few hours while cuddling with my cat. I might make breakfast, I might not, depends on what I feel like. The point of the morning is no stress, no drama, no worries. Then I give myself a full spa day! I take a long hot shower, and be sure to scrub with my Simple Sugars, double condition my hair (or treat it if I’m feeling really ambitious), take care of anything else in the shower including shaving, or really sudsing up just because it’s fun. I don’t put myself on a timeline or try to be out by a certain time. I’ll also do my eyebrows this day, make sure they’re perfect, and do any face treatments that I have lying around. At some point I’ll also do my oil pulling (coconut oil! woot! woot!); typically I’ll do it while in the shower, but I’ll sometimes move it to after if I’m just not in the mood yet. I always feel super clean and invigorated after spa day, not only because it’s fun, and something to look forward to, but because it gets me ready for the week ahead with healthy, shining skin, hair, nails etc.
For fun twists – I’ll sometimes turn on music depending on my mood, or I may relocate to a different bathroom which gives it a super spa feel, since it’s not my day-to-day shower location. This is also a super fun time to use any samples you may have gotten from Sephora, friends, BrichBox etc. the most important thing to making spa day work is that you actually do it, I’m fortunate that I have Saturday mornings to myself, but on the off chance I don’t, or I have to move it to a different day due to scheduling, I make it clear that I am not to be bothered for a while, it’s my time to relax and beautify!
How to Be a Morning Person February 10, 2015Posted by doinglaundryinheels in 21st Century/Technology, Apartment Life, Health and Fitness, How To, Life Lessons/Growing Up.
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“For many of us, mornings begin in a rushed panic. We allow our alarm clocks to buzz at least a dozen times before we decide we have to get out of bed. We then rush around our homes half-awake trying to get ready for our day. In a hurry, we stub our toe on the bedpost, forget to put on deodorant, and don’t pack a lunch because we simply do not have time.
It’s no wonder that so many folks despise the thought of being awake before 9 am!”
Forgetting deodorant? Check! Not packing lunch? Also check! Stubbing toe? Been there! Learn how to be a morning person, or at least a little bit happier in the AM! Read this awesome and uplifting article at MindBodyGreen!
Move On From The Friend Who Couldn’t Move with You February 4, 2015Posted by doinglaundryinheels in Friendships, Life Lessons/Growing Up, Moving, Relationships.
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I find that it’s the same old story – you meet new people, you make connections, before you know it you’re going out for drinks, getting together for birthdays, and telling them your deepest thoughts and fears. Then, you get a new job, you relocate, you go to school and the friends that promised you now and forever can’t even make time to send a two-line text. It’s really flabbergasting, and it’s not okay. Sometimes it’s scary to admit that you’re sad, sometimes it’s embarrassing to say that someone just simply didn’t want to be your friend for no good reason, but someone’s got to say it so others know that it’s not just them.
Many of our loyal readers know that DLIH relocated to Chicago over a year ago. Prior to this move, I wrote some of my favorite people an e-mail, explaining my decision to move, and thanking them for always being so supportive of me. In response to this e-mail I received a very heartfelt note about how sad and shocked one of my girlfriends was about my move, we weren’t the best of friends but we had become closer and I was equally as touched by her letter and sad that we wouldn’t be seeing each other regularly anymore. When I said goodbye, I cried and I hugged her and I never one thought we’d never talk again…but we really never did. Shortly after relocating, I texted her for some advice, and got a fairly normal but slightly short response. There were a couple of jokes shared between us, mostly me on the joking end and her simply answering “haha”, or “LOL”. Slowly, the responses stopped, and one night, when I found out she was thinking about coming to Chicago I sent a message telling her to let me know because I’d love to see her, but a nothing came of it. I realized that we weren’t friends, and we weren’t ever going to be again. And it really sucked. I felt betrayed for a very long time, and hurt, and angry. I didn’t do anything wrong, and she didn’t say or not say anything in particular, it just became very apparent that to her, I was out of sight, so I was also out of mind.
Some people can’t move with you, whether this is physical or metaphorical. People you spent everyday with in college are now nowhere to be found, maybe there’s an occasional, socially accepted Christmas card, or a rare “Like” on Facebook, but you’re lunch-together-everyday relationship faded into not speaking at all in a matter of months. There are a lot of people out there who are your friend when they need you, and then forget about you when they need someone else, they don’t do this intentionally, they don’t actually even realize what they’re doing but it’s hard to be on the receiving end of being forgotten.
It’s like they say men can’t multi-task, maybe there are people out there who can’t multi-friend; maybe there are individuals who are the greatest friend in the world when they can be, but they can only be that for one or two or three people, and not for many. So, what do we do? What do we do when we’re planning a birthday party, or a wedding, and we realize that there’s no one to help us, or we aren’t even sure who genuinely wants to show up? We move on. Hurt doesn’t go away, but life goes on, we build things for ourselves, we get a great job, we go to the gym and make sure we’re healthy and happy and most importantly, we wish no harm on those who forgot they needed to be our friend.
Hurt is justifiable and no one can take that away from you. No one can say that what others do to you is right, no one can tell you that their actions are okay or reasonable, but what you can do is learn to live your life in the moment and not dwell on the past. Know that some people are just bad friends, some people are only friends when they can be, and some people will be your friends forever, some may even come in and out of your life. We all have some slinky, bumpy path we’re on and if we meet just the right people they’ll hold your hand down that road, but what makes us who we are is often the journeys we take alone, so allow yourself to share those experiences but remember that you may need to learn some of them alone.
Why I’ll Never Be That B!t¢h January 24, 2015Posted by doinglaundryinheels in Friendships, Life Lessons/Growing Up, Relationships, Women.
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It was recently brought to my attention that I have been the B-word. Well, if you’re like me, you’ll take this one of two ways; you’ll laugh it off and agree that you need to simmer down, or you’ll be highly offended and confused. Look, at the end of the day, every girl is the B-word. We gossip, we judge, we use sarcasm as some weird sincere form of friendship induction, no one is innocent but we don’t actually mean to hurt anyone, you never actually mean any of it.
So, what do you do when someone tells you you do mean it? How do you react? Shock, awe, confusion, bewilderment are terms that come to mind but after the initial total loss of concept passes, you just feel defensive. People have different perceptions of b!t¢hiness, to some a simple lack of happy hour invitation qualifies, but for others it might be a deeper behavior, a bullying or a vindictive act. I can tell you one thing, I may not be everyone’s best friend, but vindictive is the last thing anyone can accuse me of. So, in thinking about it, and talking to some of my gal pals, I realized I’m not the only one who’s been wrongfully accused. There are a lot of us out there, girls who are confident and funny and maybe we command a little more attention because we are extroverted and like to have fun, but that doesn’t make us bad people, and that sure as hell doesn’t make us the B-word. So, for all my ladies out there who can relate, here is my side of the story: Why I’ll Never Be That B!t¢h
Growing up isn’t easy for most girls, or most adolescents for that matter, but we all have our own experiences with it. For me, I was disliked for the things I couldn’t control; I was tall, I was thin, I could eat whatever I wanted and not gain an ounce (how things have changed!), I had a lot of guys friends, by no effort of my own and so for all these reasons some girls didn’t like me. When I was a senior, I left high school to go pursue my dream of dancing, and even though I was still taking courses at home, my entire class turned their back on me. When I came back for homecoming, my old friends couldn’t even look me in the eye, even my ex-boyfriend, who had been infatuated with me long after we broke up, took their side. The only thing I wanted to do was eat a pizza with my friends on the school steps, and instead I not only got the cold shoulder, but threatening voicemails about how I didn’t belong and then an invitation to a fake party, when I arrived there was no party, but there was a lot of giggling at my expense.
So you graduate high school and for the most part things even out, and you don’t anticipate that will ever happy to you again. Until your 25 and working and all the girls in your department are planning an outing, in front of you, without you, not inviting you, and when you finally ask what their plans are thinking, “Oh, they probably just all think the other person invited me”, they tell you all about it and then ask what your plans are, because it’s clear you’re not coming, and they have no intention of inviting you. So you go home and cry your eyeballs out, as a grown woman, and you don’t understand why they don’t like you, and the worst part is, it’s high school all over again.
So answer me this, why would someone who has been through that, who knows the anxiety and agony of those feelings ever wish that, or impose that, on anyone else?
I like to empower other women, I like to learn from them and teach them what I’ve come to know. If I’m not friends with you, maybe we’re just different; If I don’t understand you, maybe we just see things from opposite perspectives; If we don’t get along, maybe that’s just because this is life. I will always be the bigger person, but just because I didn’t jump through a flaming hoop to make you comfortable with my personality doesn’t make me a bad person, and it doesn’t make me a mean girl.
Women will always have a hard time getting along, historically we always have, so we do our best and what comes of it comes of it. My greatest friends are girls! People grow from their experiences, and my experiences have taught me to be strong and strong-willed and live life, if that comes off as isolating someone then what I say to them is take this experience and let it mold you, teach you, help you grow, and allow you to find someone inside yourself that maybe you didn’t know you could be. We can sit and blame others for our sorrow, or our pain, or we can take that and make it better. “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” – Eleanor Roosevelt
Older People Are Happier! January 21, 2015Posted by doinglaundryinheels in 21st Century/Technology, Humor, Life Lessons/Growing Up, Real World, Remember When, Traveling.
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iPhones, tablets, TV’s in our headrests. Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Pintrest. Poking, liking, friending, clicking, texting, editing, posting. We are a generation of people who don’t know what it means to be without technology, very few of us even remember cassette tapes, those of us who ever owned a record player feel fortunate, and we remembered fondly back to the days when a phone and a musical listening devices had zero to do with each other. It’s not that we’re spoiled, it’s just that sometimes we take everything we have in 2015 for granted. Let’s listen to this “old person” to remember where we came from and how lucky we are to have the world at our finger tips!
Follow the link to hear how we can be happier people in a funny, constructive and insightful way!
It’s Okay to Be a Girly Girl January 18, 2015Posted by doinglaundryinheels in Beauty, Fashion/Clothes, Life Lessons/Growing Up, Real World, Women.
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From our earliest days in the nursery we are raised in pink, purple and pastels. As we grow older we fall into lipstick, high heels, hair curlers, and little black dresses. Then, somewhere along the way, we start hearing about the “guy’s girl”, the girl who wears jeans and a baseball jersey to sit on the couch and drink beer while watching the game. Girls play sports, girls work in construction, girls run marathons and girls can finish that tallboy just about as fast as any grown man could. So, if girls can do anything, why do we sometimes feel uncomfortable just being who we are…a girl?
There are a lot of feminists out there that will tell us pink makes us weak. There are a lot of men out there who are looking for a girl who can throw on a hoodie and go for a hike. There are also a lot of females out there who will give you a dirty stare if you walk into a room with your 6-inch heels and chandelier earrings. It’s almost as if we’re only comfortable wearing our pretty dresses and false eyelashes when we’re in a room full of men, until the meat market looks start, then we’d much rather crawl into our flannel sweatpants and Winne the Pooh zip-up. When did being pretty become such a weird thing? Is Bravo TV the only place a woman can throw on her skinny jeans and wedges and walk around confidently with her Marc Jacobs?(okay, maybe using Bravo TV is just a bad example, but…). I call a personal foul on the whole world!
Here’s why pretty can make us better people; Sometimes shoes, or eyeshadow, or jewelry, or handbags aren’t there to get us noticed, they aren’t in our closet because we’re vain or materialistic, sometimes we buy and wear these things because they make us feel confident. Confidence comes from many places, so if your Sephora giftcard is all you’re relying on to make you feel strong, then you should probably spend a little longer on this website and read some deeper stuff, but sometimes all you need is a piece of chocolate to boost your spirits, and if that piece of chocolate comes in a cardboard box and has an rhinestone ankle strap, so be it! Looking good makes you feel good, and feeling good gives your inner ability to be strong and confident shine through then there’s nothing wrong with getting a little pretty every now and then. Even the process of being girly can give you an extra edge; picking out your outfit, taking a long hot shower, putting on your makeup, these are all little build-ups for the grand finale – the full ensemble.
As a women, it’s important to have an identity and it’s valuable to feel comfortable in all settings. You should never be someone you’re not, but you should also be open to experiencing different environments and seeing how you can flourish in them. Play touch football one day and then pull out the slinky red dress the next, it’ll keep the excitement in your relationships with others and with yourself. A dynamic personality is one that grows, and one that keeps growing. Many men or women may see dressing up or carrying a fancy handbag as being snobby or high maintenance, in their defense, many times this may be true, but if someone is thinking that of you just remind yourself that you’re a really great person, heels or no heels. You don’t want to surround yourself with people who do or do not want to be with you just for superficial reasons.
Being a girly girl doesn’t mean buying that Derek Jeter jersey in pink, it means embodying what women like Audrey Hepburn and Grace Kelly have set in place for us, as girls, so that we can enjoy all the benefits of being pretty and being a lady and feeling like every now and then, when we’re walking down the street and we know everyone is looking, in that tiny moment, maybe we do rule the world, just a little bit.
The Benefits of Being an Adult January 15, 2015Posted by doinglaundryinheels in Family, Finances, Jobs and Work, Life Lessons/Growing Up, Real World.
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They say that with great power comes great responsibility. Well, I supposed that’s true, but I’m guessing many of us, myself included, wouldn’t really consider themselves to have great power, right? Wrong. Power has been feed to us as this majestic, magnificent thing, but the truth is as an adult you have a lot of power. The power to make decisions, the power to speak your mind, the power to have things, buy things, the power to help others. So with all the privilege and freedom being an adult comes with, you have also responsibility.
Responsibility can mean many things to many people; it can be taking care of others – children, pets, loved ones; it can be making sure you take care of yourself – support yourself, pay your bills, find a nice place to live. It can mean being successful – buying your first car, getting married, getting that promotion you’ve been working for. No matter how you define responsibility for yourself, know that being an adult comes with certain expectations, understanding that the world is bigger than you.
Responsibility means having the right to be the bigger person – perhaps something has happened at work that you’re not pleased with or perhaps part of your job has been reallocated to a different department. You can voice your concerns, you can state your position, but at the end of the day if your bosses decide something over you, take it with grace. Don’t huff and puff around the office, don’t continue to bring it up, don’t speak under your breath about how stupid you think it is. Why? Because you can’t be empowered if you don’t carry yourself in a respectful way, not just respectful to others, but respect to yourself.
Responsibility means taking the time to do something you don’t want to do, because it will help the greater good. Sure, tackling world peace is a good place to start, but smaller obstacles are too. Maybe your family is having a hard time getting together for the holiday, going out of your way to pick someone up from the airport, or help them search for an airline ticket, being outside of just your world. Explaining to the marketing department you’d like to stay late and help them work on the promotion because you want your clients to get the best deal. Whatever that something extra might be, it’s your responsibility to help achieve it. If you don’t do it, then you don’t have the right to complain about it.
Responsibility means dancing like no one is watching. It’s taking care of yourself because if you don’t who will? Sure, we all have parents, and significant others, and friends but if you’re going to take it upon yourself to work two jobs, finish school, make it to every friends birthday party and still find time to go to the gym, then you’re going to have to find time to lay in bed and watch a movie. Especially when you’re in your early twenties, it’s hard to say no. So, if you’re not going to say no, then make the time for yourself. It’s your job to make sure you is the best you you can be!
Being an adult comes with so many benefits – living alone, not having a curfew, voting, spending your own money on what you want when you want, dating and partying, so with all this privilege remember to not act like a baby. Just like with every job out there, you can’t have only the good parts but have to deal with the tough parts too. However, the thing about the tough parts, is that they make you tough so when you look back and you remember how hard some of it may have been, you can also be proud that you took the higher road, did the right thing, and you’ve turned out to be pretty A-okay, if not pretty awesome.
Making Life Choices…and Facing Hilarious Realities January 8, 2015Posted by doinglaundryinheels in 21st Century/Technology, Apartment Life, Cooking, Dating, Education, Fashion/Clothes, Finances, Friendships, Health and Fitness, Humor, Jobs and Work, Life Lessons/Growing Up, Men, Real World, Relationships, Shopping, Tattoos/Piercings, Traveling, Women.
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Check out this great post about the Catch-22’s of being in your twenties! Grab a glass of wine, and laugh your bad day away – The 20 Catch-22s Of Being In Your 20’s, by Lauren Martin at the Elite Daily.
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“When you do what you’ve always done you get what you’ve always gotten.”, I’m not sure who said it first, but I sure as hell remember the first time I heard it. To me, this statement made so much sense, it was so logical, so true, but somehow so hard to see when you were on the “doing” end of it. It’s very easy to get lost in the shuffle, or drown in your own life of stress, and papers, and obligations. So, to answer so many of your questions – “What happened to DLIH?!”, this is the answer.
The great thing about the writers of this website is that we are growing; we are growing together, we are growing independently, we are growing with you, and with this site and, in turn, things are changing. While things do change for the better, there is a give and take, it’s a dynamic process. We were just trying to stay afloat in our lives, we were working as hard as we possibly could to find five minutes to write a quick article and what happened was weeks without a post, days without an update and just an overall stress about DLIH instead of the pleasure it had always been. So after much discussion, and a difficult decision, we decided the best thing to do was to take a break, a deep breath and start looking forward, not to the past. In 2012, we wrote an article about Taking a Comma , well, let’s say we took a page break ;).
The great news is, we’re back! We’re working hard to bring back the articles you love so much, we’re ready to listen to your thoughts and fears and offer what we can from life experience, humor, a little witty intuition to make your twenties suck a little less. When this website started, we were little 20-somethings, just trying to figure it out, now we’re grown-up, and big, and see our early-twenties friends and we want to help them and mold them into awesome adults! Evolution is awesome! Change is great! It’s not always easy, and the moral of the story is that you shouldn’t be afraid to tell everyone you need a minute to figure it out.
DLIH will be a little different, but that’s because we’re a little different – We used to talk about surviving your twenties, now, we’re living them, hell, we’re almost out of them! There won’t be as much “how to”, or “what if”, but so much more information, fun times and just general getting through life tidbits about being healthy, happy, and habitually phenomenal.